There is a particular kind of loneliness that comes with infertility.
It is the loneliness of sitting in a waiting room surrounded by couples who are also waiting, and feeling entirely alone. It’s the loneliness of scrolling through pregnancy announcements and feeling joy and grief at the exact same moment. It is the loneliness of carrying a hope so tender you are afraid to say it out loud, and a grief so quiet that no one knows to ask how you are.
If you are navigating infertility right now, I want to name something before anything else: what you are carrying is real, it is significant, and it deserves far more support than our culture has historically offered it.
Infertility Is More Common Than Most People Know
One of the cruelest aspects of infertility is how invisible it is. Because so many people navigate it privately, it can feel like a deeply personal failure in a world where pregnancy appears effortless for everyone else.
The numbers tell a very different story.
According to the World Health Organization, apFproximately 1 in 6 people globally experience infertility in their lifetime. [1] That represents a lifetime prevalence of 17.5% of the adult population. Moreover, the prevalence is remarkably consistent across income levels. It reaches 17.8% in high-income countries and 16.5% in low- and middle-income countries. In other words, infertility affects families across every demographic and every walk of life.
You are not alone in this. Not even close.
The Psychological Toll That Often Goes Unaddressed
Infertility is a medical condition. But it is also a profound psychological experience, and research increasingly confirms what those living through it have always known firsthand.
A 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis published in the Archives of Gynecology and Obstetrics examined the global prevalence of depression, anxiety, and stress among infertile women and found significant rates across all three domains. [2] Research published in BMC Women’s Health found that infertile women reported significantly higher levels of depression, anxiety, and stress than their male partners, with many experiencing moderate to severe symptoms. [3]
The psychological weight of infertility is not a side effect of the experience. For many women, it is the central experience, running alongside and through every medical appointment, every treatment cycle, every two-week wait, every negative result.
And yet the vast majority of fertility treatment pathways focus almost entirely on the physical component. Completely, leaving the emotional dimension of infertility largely overlooked.
The Grief That Does Not Always Have a Name
One of the most important things I say to clients navigating infertility is this: you do not need a specific loss event to be grieving.
The grief of infertility is cumulative and layered. It includes mourning the ease of conception you assumed, the family timeline you imagined, the version of your future that has not arrived. The grief of each cycle that does not result in pregnancy, each treatment that does not work, each milestone that passes without the child you are waiting for. It includes, for many women, the quiet and painful grief of feeling like your body has let you down.
This grief is real and it is significant, regardless of whether it meets the cultural threshold for what we typically recognize as loss.
Infertility also frequently involves pregnancy loss, including early losses during IVF cycles, chemical pregnancies, and miscarriages that can be especially complex to grieve when they occur in the context of a fertility journey already marked by loss and hope in equal measure.
What Infertility Can Do to a Relationship
Infertility rarely affects only one person. It moves through relationships, reshaping communication patterns, intimacy, and sometimes the very foundation of a partnership.
Partners frequently grieve differently, on different timelines, with different coping strategies. What one partner needs in a given moment may be the opposite of what the other needs. The result, without support, can be a growing distance precisely when closeness is most important.
There are also the complex feelings that infertility can produce toward a partner, including guilt, resentment, and the particular pain of watching someone you love carry grief they cannot fully put into words either.
Therapy during infertility creates a space to navigate these relational dynamics directly, not just the individual experience of grief, but the shared experience of a couple trying to hold hope and loss together.
The Particular Weight of Treatment
For many women, the fertility treatment process adds its own psychological dimensions to an already heavy experience.
The medicalization of what most people assume will be a natural and private experience can feel disorienting and dehumanizing. The physical demands of treatment cycles, including injections, monitoring appointments, and the constant surveillance of a body that is not behaving predictably, can produce anxiety, physical discomfort, and a strained relationship with your own body.
The financial strain of fertility treatment is also significant and people rarely discuss it openly. The hope and loss cycle of each treatment round, hope building toward a result, loss when it does not come, and then the enormous effort of rebuilding hope to try again, is psychologically exhausting in a way that is very difficult to explain to someone who has not lived it.
You Deserve Support — And You Do Not Have to Earn It
One of the most common things I hear from infertility clients is some version of the same sentence: “I feel like I should be handling this better.”
There is an expectation, often self-imposed, that the appropriate response to infertility is resilience. Quiet perseverance. A positive attitude. Moving forward. The expectation is rarely spoken aloud, but it is deeply felt.
I want to say this plainly: infertility is one of the most psychologically demanding experiences a person can face. Research confirms it. The women I work with confirm it. And the idea that you should simply handle it better, without support, without space to grieve, without someone to witness what you are going through, is not resilience. It is isolation.
You are allowed to need support. You are allowed to grieve. And you are allowed to receive help that honors the full weight of what you are navigating.
How Therapy Can Help
Working with a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health and infertility means working with someone who understands the specific emotional landscape of the fertility journey.
In our work together, I can support you in:
- Processing grief across each stage of the infertility journey, including the losses that may not feel nameable but are very real
- Managing anxiety during treatment cycles, waiting periods, and the uncertainty that is inherent to fertility treatment
- Navigating the relational dynamics that infertility places on your partnership, including different grieving styles, intimacy challenges, and communication strain
- Making difficult decisions about treatment options, timelines, and paths forward with greater clarity and self-compassion
- Maintaining your sense of self and identity through a process that can make it easy to lose sight of who you are outside of your fertility journey
- Finding your way through if treatment does not result in the outcome you hoped for, including processing grief, exploring alternatives, and rebuilding your relationship with your future
Working with Me
I am Joanna Strait, and infertility is an area I hold with particular care and intentionality. The grief of the fertility journey is one of the most profoundly underserved areas of women’s mental health. I believe deeply that every woman navigating it deserves a space where her experience is fully witnessed and fully supported.
I offer in-person sessions at my Bethesda, Maryland office and telehealth sessions for clients throughout Washington DC, Maryland, Virginia, and South Carolina.
Schedule Your Free 20-Minute Consultation No commitment required. Just a warm, unhurried conversation about where you are and how I can support you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Infertility Therapy Near Washington DC
How common is infertility?
According to the World Health Organization, approximately 1 in 6 people globally experience infertility in their lifetime. This represents a lifetime prevalence of 17.5% of the adult population. Infertility affects people across all income levels and regions. This confirms it is a major global health challenge with no demographic boundaries.
Can infertility cause depression and anxiety?
Yes. A 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis in the Archives of Gynecology and Obstetrics found high rates of depression, anxiety, and stress among infertile women globally. Infertile women report significantly higher levels of psychological distress than their male partners. Many experiencing moderate to severe symptoms across multiple domains.
Why is infertility so lonely?
Infertility is often experienced in silence. Many people don’t share their fertility journey publicly, meaning they navigate profound grief and medical strain without the social support. The cultural assumption that pregnancy happens naturally on a predictable timeline makes infertility feel like a private failure rather than a medical condition, compounding the isolation.
Is it normal to grieve during infertility even without a specific loss?
Absolutely. The grief of infertility includes mourning the ease of conception you assumed, the family timeline you imagined, and the future you expected. Each cycle that does not result in pregnancy is a real loss. You deserve support, fully — and you do not have to earn it.
How can therapy help during infertility?
Therapy during infertility offers a space to process grief, manage anxiety throughout treatment cycles, and navigate relational strain. It can also make difficult decisions with greater clarity, and maintain a sense of self and identity through the journey. Working with a specialist in perinatal mental health means working with someone who understands the specific terrain of infertility.
Do you offer therapy for infertility near Washington DC?
Yes. I offer compassionate, specialized therapy for infertility at my Bethesda, Maryland office. I also offer telehealth throughout Washington DC, Maryland, Virginia, and South Carolina. A free 20-minute consultation is a gentle first step
